There are a million feelings racing through my head right now. I have to be up at 5 a.m. (in three hours), so I figure the best way to deal with them is to list them all. Maybe I’ll find some comforting and some irrational. Either way, they’ll be out.
Things I’m afraid of:
- Bad anesthesia reaction
- My vocal folds getting nicked when the tube goes down my throat
- Being nervous all morning
- The procedure going wrong
- Being in pain afterword
- Not being able to eat/drink
- Feeling like I’m going to throw up for a while
- Taking medicine being difficult
- Not being able to sleep at the hospital
- Getting depressed when I’m on rest
Things I’m optimistic about:
- The potential of getting better
- The success rate of the procedure
- The doctor’s track record
- My mom being with me
- Friends, coworkers and family being very forthcoming with positive messages
- My own strength
- The fact that if this doesn’t work, I’ll continue to search for answers
The Silent Treatment 