It’s 33 days post-op, and I’m officially ready to be healthy again.
However, if this experience has taught me anything, it’s that being ready for something to happen doesn’t mean a damn thing.
I feel so “busy” being busy lately. I have things to do. Plenty in fact.
But none of it is what I really want to be doing.
They’re things I agree to because… why not? How else am I going to spend my time?
Here’s how it breaks down:
If it’s not singing, it’s something I don’t care that much about today.
And I can’t sing, so you can guess how I feel about what I’m doing right now.
Just wait. Be patient. Stay positive.
I’m trying, but it’s not easy.
It’s rough having no guarantee this will get better.
I won’t be mad about surgery or the year I’ve spent with doctors. I won’t be upset at the time I’ve taken to go through these necessary processes to insure my health.
All I want to know is, if not this, then what? What’s next? What else can I do? How else can I fight this?
I hope that doesn’t mean part of me has already given up.
I’m very hopeful things will turn around. The main reason for that is I need them to. I don’t know what I’ll do if this continues.
I’ll do whatever it takes to keep from finding out.