Yesterday I received news that I need to get an upper GI from yet another new doctor who promises to make my life better.
Of course they were closed by the time I called yesterday, and closed this morning when I tried to call again.
Luckily I heard from their office around 10 a.m.
Not so luckily, the next available appointment is July 7th. Over two months away.
This was devastating news. It means I wouldn’t have the initial visit until July 7th, which pushes back the upper GI they’ll hopefully decide I need, and then whatever has to be done next won’t be scheduled till after that. One delay leads to many.
In the meantime, my condition is in limbo at best, but could continue to worsen.
For the first time in a month, I didn’t cry when talking to a medical professional. I got off the phone, and then got mad. Luckily, my super supportive boss had an idea.
“Why don’t you call them and tell them you’re very close to the medical center and can come by at the drop of a hat if anyone cancels?”
Bless this woman. Seriously. That sentence wasn’t just letting me know a good idea. It was also a permission slip. She was saying, “This is important to you, so it’s important to me. If a spot opens up, do what you need to do.”
Of course it took me a minute to see it this way, as I would have much rather bathed in the essence of yet another set back. But after about an hour of letting it all sink in, I gave them a call back.
I’m really proud of myself for not crying. It doesn’t sound like a reason to cry if you haven’t been through this. You might ask, “What good will crying do?” or even worse, tell me to “Keep a positive outlook!”
I’m also proud that I did call back today and let them know I’m readily available if anyone cancels their appointment. Normally it would take me a few days to get there. This time it only took an hour of processing.
After all of these moments of hopefulness that are immediately followed by disappointment, I think I’m slowly learning how to manage my emotions. That – on top of the great support team around me – definitely helps.